Hakaan was indisputably the highlight of the week – the Turkish designer drew the most exclusive of crowds who left enamoured by his strong silhouettes and muted palette of bandage dresses. Enthralled journalists scribbled furiously as Natalia Vodianova and Abbey Lee walked some of his more austere designs and the camel-coloured ostrich thigh-high dress even drew a demure smile from Kate Moss, perhaps the most unlikely event at LFW this season. Todd Lynn was also a firm favourite, with some unlikely stars littering his front row (Janet Jackson? Can someone explain please?). His nature versus man inspired collection featured hooded tan outer garments and elevated shoulders, of which shameless copies are sure to be flooding high-streets by September (thank goodness). Not much was to be said of his after-party however, which, despite being invited to in hushed tones by a PR exec, we left after half an hour following the shameless consumption of three free cocktails.

The outerwear trend continued with the domination of leather and sheepskin at Burberry Prorsum by Christopher Bailey, yet thankfully, it’s ability to be worn in a WWII trench was softened by lace leggings and girlish make-up. The unfortunate return of patent leather is set for Autumn/Winter 2010 and was out in full force at both Christopher Kane and Nicole Farhi, though we forgive the latter this, as the influence of her time spent in Paris in the 1960’s also brought to the runway a sleek combination of black macramé cocktail dresses, pleated sheen camel skirts and asymmetrical blouses.

The rising star of Autumn/Winter 2010 (in my humble opinion) was Holly Fulton, who after showing three times with design talent agency, Fashion East, debuted an exciting collection of wearable (?), bright extravagance, despite claiming to be influenced by ‘Louis Barillet, pythons and telephones.’

The winning venue was the crumbling brick space near Shoreditch where A Child of the Jago continued what they began in their debut last season. Joe Corre (a child of Vivienne Westwood, no less) has been stealthily building this art house brand that mused on the Victorian era to bring to LFW an eccentric layered collection of pea coats and Teddy Boy suits adorning shadow-eyed youths alongside weathered and beautiful old men. Go and visit them in Shoreditch, its like Aladdin’s cave, if Aladdin had been born in East London in 1897. The rest of menswear was also strong this season and Topman Design exceeded all expectations with it’s Operation 214 theme, oversized khaki coats, grandpa knits and wide leggings (don’t knock it before you try it).

Look out for bold digital prints (overdone at Aminaka Wilmont but beautiful in small doses at Jena.Theo), asymmetrical oversized knits and exceptionally short or extravagantly long, sheer/flowing dresses (seen at Bora Asku, who although lost some favour for turning away 300 guests, displayed an inspiring collection) and the return of the farmer/sheepskin overcoat for A/W this year.

Aside from the shortage of umbrellas, caffeine come-downs and Charlie Le Mindu’s human hair and neon headpieces, LFW A/W 10 was a sartorial feast for the not-so faint hearted. The countdown to Spring/Summer 2011, it being acceptable to look bizarre and the ability to wear sunglasses in the rain again, has begun.

Go to www.londonfashionweek.co.uk to find out more!

With just weeks to go before elections take place across London’s universities, you would hope that thousands of students were scrambling to find out as much as they could about the candidates and decide who would best vocalise student opinion. Unfortunately, as with every other university election in recent years, this is unlikely to be the case.

In 2008 London was politically hyped up like never before, students talked openly about politics and seemed genuinely excited by it all. But it was not the May London Mayoral Elections they were talking about, but the November US Presidential Election. Whilst it was a truly inspiring event that saw the first Black American elected Commander-in-Chief, it was sad to think that it took an election in a country most Londoners could never vote in to get us enthralled with politics again. Turnout in the US presidential election was some 63-percent, far higher than the 45-percent seen in the London Mayoral elections of May. Had the option to vote in the US election been extended to Londoners, there is little doubt that turnout would have been higher than in any UK election of modern times.

It is only if you meticulously examine recent results that you realise student turnout in most London university elections now rarely jumps over the 10-percent marker. This means that most Presidents and General-Secretaries of student unions across London received votes amounting to around 5-percent of their total student population. It is little wonder then that upon e-mailing elected officials at SOAS, UCL & LSE to get recent turnout figures, nobody deigned to e-mail me back. Perhaps it is the fear of admitting they were elected with such a tiny mandate that makes them unable to reply, or perhaps they do not honestly care too much about the issue of student turnout at elections?

“student turnout in most London university elections now rarely jumps over the 10-percent marker”

It is at times of low voter turnout that we end up with politicians and leaders who voice the opinions of the few, and not the many. Only last year two BNP candidates were elected as MEPs and now represent the United Kingdom at the European Union. Embarrassing as it is, had voter turnout been higher, such marginal views could easily have been suppressed by the majority of level-headed people.

With the excitement of the US election in mind, those running for election need to keep focused not on the dull, grey side of politics but on the real, positive side – the side that can actually bring ‘change’ in a small way to London students. Barack Obama’s victory shows how influential the use of Facebook, MySpace and the Internet can be in mobilising supporters. But successful use of these facilities can only occur when the policies of those running for election are in tune with those of the electorate. Obama mixed charisma with the promise of change to invigorate supporters. So triumphant has his mix been that his supporters are now more like screaming, loyal-to-the-core rock n’ roll fans than political voters. Obviously it is nigh on impossible to replicate such enthusiasm in student elections, but there is no harm in trying. Those running for election must build a support base by speaking to and gaining endorsements from a wide variety of student societies and clubs. They must choose their policies not by plucking them out of thin air, but by engaging with students and asking them how they envision their universities changing for the better.

Without charismatic leaders and high voter turnouts, the student voice remains weak. With such a weak voice, it is easy for governments to introduce top-up fees as they did in 2006, and even easier for them to allow for privatisation of that student debt as they did through the “Sale of Student Loan Bill” in 2008. Now students have an even greater fight on their hands, to stop the cap on tuition fees being raised. Students must band together to – as Wes Streeting, NUS President said – “prevent a future in which the most esteemed universities are only accessible to the very rich”. The reasons for a strong and compassionate student voice are hence crystal clear.

“students have an even greater fight on their hands, to stop the cap on tuition fees being raised”

It is time for us, as students, to bring up policies that perhaps we never thought would be possible, interact with each other and unite in our common aims. Students make up some 5-percent of the population – so whether it be the Mayoral elections back in May or the General Election back this year, that figure could completely alter the results and thus the winners. The student voice has been muffled in recent years, but let’s now take our problems and issues to our potential student representatives and force them to lead the way in making changes. With voting in student elections now so easy, let’s keep the political excitement derived from the US elections alive and ensure that our vote is counted. Only then will real change on the student landscape be possible.

KCLSU CANDIDATES WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON
WED 4TH MARCH

VOTING BEGINS 10TH MARCH, SO MAKE SURE YOU VOTE!

The latest MORI polling, when averaged with all the other recent major pollsters’ data, predicts a Conservative minority government. This would leave David Cameron some 12 seats short of a working majority in the House, and greatly increase Gordon Brown’s chances of remaining in Number 10 for a little while longer.

Why is this a big deal? Precedent shows that if the figures were to be translated into reality, Brown would be given the first chance to form a coalition government. Constitutional convention dictates that Brown would be Prime Minister until after adequate time he resigns and informs the Queen that a government cannot be formed under his authority. This could seem unfair to the Conservatives who would actually have more seats than Labour, but it’s just one of those peculiarities of the UK Parliamentary system.

Some could be forgiven for not understanding what the excitement is about, and many people are simply apathetic towards Parliamentary procedure. However constitutional lawyers and academics, such as Professor Peter Hennessey (Queen Mary, UL), have pointed out that there will be astonishment in the general public when Cameron cannot form a government even with the most MPs for as long as a couple of weeks after the general election. Even the Guardian missed the point when referring to a hung parliament poll; they predicted that Cameron would be at Buckingham Palace the morning after the election ‘kissing the Queen’s hand’. That’s simply not true – it would be Brown meeting the Queen and being given time to form a working majority. Brown would remain PM until he had exhausted all negotiation with Nick Clegg’s Liberal Democrats, and the Palace would probably give Brown 1-2 weeks to negotiate. This happened before in 1974 when Edward Heath, the incumbent PM, spent nearly a week trying to negotiate a coalition until he resigned as Prime Minister and Harold Wilson was given the chance to form a minority Labour government.

This possible eventuality seems lost on everyone apart from one man: Gordon Brown. The one precondition demanded by the Liberal Democrats for a coalition is a referendum on voting reform. The Conservatives have flirted with the idea, but the Labour Party passed a motion from Brown at conference supporting a referendum. This demonstration by Brown was aimed at attracting the rank and file Lib Dem’s, in preparation for when he needs to negotiate his way back into Number 10 post-election.

When the election comes, and if there’s a hung parliament, don’t be surprised when political pundits on the 24 hour news channels look bemused and confused by what’s going on. They’ll be diving into old constitutional history books when the traditional Friday morning removal van doesn’t arrive and Gordon’s in the green Jag being driven down the Mall.

For more information on political polling go to http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog

Picture this. I, clothed in full coffee shop regalia, which consists of a black chef’s hat, a shirt that nobody quite knows the colour of (somewhere between grey and burgundy we think), black trousers and a pinny (complete with chocolate and cappuccino stains). In comes young Phil Mitchell lookalike – with hard-man walk and frown to match – followed by his stunningly gorgeous girlfriend. My first reaction – launch myself into the deep fat fryer, along with the hash browns, because if I can’t get a girlfriend and Phil Mitchell lookalike can, there is no point in living.

C’est la vie. I must get on with my job as tea boy.

“Good morning!” I chime, grimacing at the mismatched couple before me. “What can I be getting you two?” Upon reflection, that does make me sound rather like a pirate, but we shall ignore that minor fault in my greeting for now. They place their order – ten-item breakfast, cake and jug of coffee for Big Phil, and a slice of toast and cup of tea for mademoiselle.

Now, before you judge me on the following course of events, it must be considered that I have been stuck for three hours in a hot, windowless café with an empty stomach, bored out of my mind, piling plates high with sausages, bacon, beans et al for people other than myself. I am not exactly Mr Happy right now.

The gripping story continues as Beauty and the Beast reach the till.  

“Together or separately?” I say.

“Humph?!” answers Big Phil. He has no clue what I am talking about.

“Will you be paying together or separately?” I reply in a heightened, rather Englishman abroad, kind of tone.

“Erm…” I have clearly caught him unawares, he was not planning on having to pay for his girlfriend’s breakfast. “Yeah, yeah, bung it all together.” He is pretending to be relaxed, but the strain can be heard in his voice. “Now I got to pay for my girlfriends bleeding meal too, I am going to have to break into a second tenner!” is exactly what he is thinking. His embarrassment is not over yet.

“Eleven pounds eighty-four then please sir,” I exclaim in my smugness-infused voice.

“Fifteen pound there then.” he says as he hands over two notes.

I am about to thrust the two notes into the till, when I realise that he has not given me the ten and five as promised, but two fives. Cheeky devil.

I do get this quite often – the customer giving you too little money. If it is a frail old lady with big glasses you feel obliged to whisper softly that she still owes you an extra few pounds. If not, you have one of those rare occurrences when the staff are free to get their own back on the customers. This is how it works.

As the till operator, there is a calm before the storm in your reaction, or, as I like to call it, a smile before the frown.

“Hmmm,” you mutter with a slight grin on your face as you look down at the incorrect money in your hand. Then, “I’m sorry sir but you have given me two fives instead of a ten and a five!” you bellow with a one-eyebrow frown.

Suffice to say, I give the same reaction to young Phillip before me. The strain in his voice has now reached new heights. “Ah. I thought, you know…” and his voice trails off.

Yes, yes, you thought you could con me didn’t you?

He leaves the till looking hugely embarrassed and his pretty girlfriend rolls her eyes. I return a look that says “Baby, get rid of him and come hang with me. I will show you a good time”. I feel very smug, my encounter has been a huge success and I now feel so much better. The deep fat fryer can easily wait until next Saturday.

“Erm, excuse me mate?” it is him again and he is now calling me mate. “Where can I find the ketchup?”

“Right in front of you there sir, right in front of you there”.

In short, BA proposed to cut the number of cabin crew on long haul flights out of Heathrow from 15 to 14, and freeze pay in 2010, amongst other changes. Unite allege that this a breach of contract of employment. BA are apparently increasing the workload of their staff and therefore increasing risk and jeopardising the safety of the aircraft passengers and employees on board.

Unite have a court hearing scheduled for alleged breach of contract, due to be heard after Christmas in February. Damages that may be awarded to the Union at this court hearing are of no practical benefit to cabin crew members. To sit on their hands over Christmas and wait for the British Courts to do their worst in February was unacceptable. As strike action would be most potent over the festive season, Unite took the matter into their own hands and balloted their members for industrial action as an ultimatum to BA.

There is a parliamentary act called the Trade Union and Labour Relations (Consolidation) Act 1992 and it is drafted in a way that makes industrial action seemingly impossible. There are a long list of requirements when balloting. BA argued that Unite had failed to comply with requirements in ss. 227, 226(a) and 234(a). The union tried to rely on the defence in s.232B – that ‘the failure is accidental and on a scale which is unlikely to affect the result of the ballot.’

Bruce Carr QC presented evidence that Unite purposefully included some 800 members in the ballot who were due to leave BA before the strike took place. Obviously these leavers would vote ‘yes’ to strike action, it’s no skin off their nose! John Hendy QC argued for a more liberal interpretation of ‘accident’. He submitted that there should be some give and take. His case was that the inclusion may not have been accidental, but was unavoidable and in any case inconsequential. Strictly requiring a pure ‘accident’ is surely unrealistic for the s.232B defence.

Note that Unite had to contact over 12000 members using out of date employment information, and allegedly had data held back from them by BA. However, on other evidence, Mrs Justice Cox found that there was no real attempt to comply with the balloting requirements. The High Court decision is dubious. Compiling a mistake-free balloting list is near impossible for such a large union as Unite. The strict interpretation of the act safeguarded BA from strike action. The requirements are too many, and the defence is too narrow. The courts have said in the past that the provisions are not impossible to comply with – perhaps in theory, but not in practice. In any case, Mrs Justice Cox found that the requirements have been enacted for a reason and so must be complied with in full.

Bruce Carr QC submitted that the test in s.232B was in 2 parts. Having failed to establish ‘accidental failure’ there was no need to consider whether the failure was on a scale unlikely to affect the result of the ballot. Nevertheless, the point was considered.

In this case, 800 votes had no material effect on the result of the ballot. Unite presented a 93% majority vote in favour of strike action. When you exclude the c800 questionable votes from all of those balloted, the percentage majority drops from 93% to… wait for it… 91.6%.

The QCs submitted arguments as to the construction of the second hurdle in s.232B. If you ask a person whether, conceptually, 1 vote is likely to affect the result of a ballot? the reply will obviously come back in the affirmative. If you ask a person ‘whether 1 vote did affect the result of the ballot?’, then the ratio of that ballot would have to be taken into account when answering the question. Hendy QC argued that Parliament intended for the wording of the section to be read as, “on a scale which did not affect the result of the ballot”. Mrs Justice Cox ruled against this construction; finding that Parliament’s wording makes for a prospective test, not retrospective. In so answering the question in s.232B, the court effectively said that even when careless mistakes are proved immaterial to the outcome of the vote, the ballot will be negated.

The procedures of interim injunctions are laid out by the House of Lords in the American Cyanamid case. The courts ask, ‘who does the balance of convenience favour?’ taking into account the relative losses faced by each party and which party is likely to succeed at full trial. According to Justice Cox  a strike over ‘12 days of Christmas was fundamentally more damaging to BA and the wider public than a strike taking place at almost any other time of the year.’ This effectively means that the trade union has been prevented from striking when action was most effective – castrating the power of its members.

Ivan Cameron, a “brave child” who faced the tragedy of severe epilepsy, passed this morning after battling with the illness since his birth. As a life-long anti-Conservative, I was deeply moved by this, both on a personal and political level. No parent should ever have to deal with losing a child, and I can’t imagine how Mr. and Mrs. Cameron are feeling at the moment. Rightly so, they have been granted their privacy and today’s PMQs has been cancelled.

As a parent dealing with a terminally ill child, Mr. Cameron daily life was dictated by hospital appointments, home treatment and working with his son’s carers; his politics was no different. Constant dealings with the NHS led to the Conservative’s adaptation of ‘compassionate conservatism’, a move away from the ‘nasty party’ image advocated by Theresa May, the one-time party secretary. Mr. Cameron recognised the value of the NHS and the important role it plays in people lives on a daily basis.

When Mr. Cameron does come back to work, I’m sure that the memory of his beloved son will be a driving force behind his campaign; an angelic inspiration of the highest value.

Rest in Peace Ivan.

That was, until last week. On a mundane motorway trip, the middle aged man in me decided to tune into Five Live’s phone-in, where it became apparent from a barrage of callers that Jade Goody had done something amazing – she had single handedly increased awareness of cervical cancer. Women of all ages were calling the show, telling the world that, thanks to the potent images of Jade in recent weeks, they had booked smear tests with their GPs. This is absolutely extraordinary. I am an avid believer that there is no greater feat than saving a life, and Mrs. Goody may have just done that a hundred times over.

The footage of Jade reacting to her chemotherapy is brutal, but necessary, as it shows the reality of the situation: hair loss, weakness and nausea. However, it’s when the camera focuses on Mrs. Goody in a tight embrace with her husband and children that we see where the real sadness of the situation lies.

Her children will lose a mother and her husband will lose a wife.

If Jade’s programs and the increasing news footage teach us anything, its that life is far too short. We’ve got to do the utmost to keep our health, and, just as importantly, our family.

I wish Jade eternal peace.

For information on smear tests please visit: http://www.cancerscreening.nhs.uk/cervical/

I decided to begin the experience with a new slate; previous gym stereotypes of burly men with large chests and a taste for both protein shakes and themselves were banished from the brain. Richard, the gym’s membership manager, told me that one of Soho gym’s predominant aims was to rid their member’s gym-time of such a prejudice. “We’re aimed at young people,” he confidently told me, “you’ll never see posers here, it’s all about getting onto the latest equipment: no queues and no fuss.” Whilst this rested my initial concerns about being flicked with a towel by a man twice my size, I was still unsure. The ‘latest’ equipment and ‘no queues’? This spelt an obligation to me: if I didn’t show progress then surely I’d be branded the most de-motivated man in the world? The pressure was on.

Yet dealing with pressure is one of Soho’s specialities. The company’s staff pride their workplace on being a place to ‘unwind’ and ‘chill’. I wasn’t so sure. A free weights area was certainly free from posers, but the presence of 50kg weights was enough to intimate even the most ardent of average men; the Arnie body I had yearned for was a long way off.

It came as a surprise therefore, that upon touring the gym I was introduced to the steam and sauna area. “A hit with the student members.” Richard told me. “There’s no better way to relax the mind before that night-before essay job, than to relax in the sauna.” I decided to test it myself, and, resting somewhere between a hug and a Dairy Milk, it was very pleasurable indeed. What’s more, the rooms were ultra-modern, with a chic tiling, making the experience that little bit more luxurious. I was reassured by Richard that access to the sauna and steam room would be included in any student membership.

Of course, the real test for any gym is its results. Members pay good money and expect a return on their investments in the form of a healthy body. Indeed, Alan, a 23-year-old masters student went further, telling me, somewhat elegantly, that he joined the gym to ‘…pick up birds.’ Sadly, this article will not include the ‘picking up’ of the opposite sex as a measure of the gym’s capabilities, but for those interested, Alan has assured me that I will remain updated.

Included in the membership fee is a gym induction, which goes further than most other fitness establishments as Soho staff write up a full routine with the member’s aims in mind. Emma, my personal trainee for the hour, asked me what my personal aims were. My response was obvious: “To get some muscle.” She mulled this over for several seconds, before offering a most welcome reply: “To develop some more muscle,” she corrected me. Whilst this could have been an exemplary display of customer service, bordering on blatant lies, it certainly served to encourage. With self-belief onboard I was ready for my programme.

And what a programme it proved to be. Three days covering sixteen different weight-based exercises, with eighteen repetitions of each meant that I was to do two hundred and eighty-eight a week. These figures meant only one thing – finding a way around them. However, Emma deviated from her earlier pleasantries by offering me a stark warning: “Stick to the programme with your life.”

My first session in the gym wasn’t fantastic. Beads of sweat turned into streams, and my breath became steadily louder with each exercise, until my breathing pattern resembled that of a clinically-obese man in a McDonald’s give-away. This was it for three months.

Still, each of the first three days finished on a positive. I retired to the sauna, and, lying back on the bench, my body worn and tired, I closed my eyes. Allowing the warm air to circulate against my expired muscles, I felt something unique: for the first time in a long time I felt like I deserved my moment of pleasure.

The idea was simple: take one person of average proportions and see what three months of a personalised fitness programme could do for him. There were to be no reductions in the chocolate to fruit ratio, no protein shakes and definitely no ab-tronic belts (eBay, apparently, does a roaring trade in these). Instead, it was just to be the gym and me: a real test for both of us.

My previous experience of gym life consisted of one visit to the local fitness centre at home. A game of squash was cut short by some benign racket handling and my day ended in a trip to the local hospital, thus leaving a particularly sour taste in my mouth and something of a reluctance to visit the gym again. Nevertheless, backed up by a multitude of fitness-based New Year resolutions, my determination was rife and I was ready to meet the challenge, and, with that, January 2009 marked the first month of a new me.

This blog will be updated online on a weekly basis, whilst there will be an extended version in the printed edition of King’s Bench magazine. Of course, true to the history of this fine publication – nothing will be omitted. Every detail, from the development of an ab to the changing room atmosphere will be included. Dear reader, you will hear about every embarrassing moment, and, should this thing go well, perhaps there will even be the odd success-story. This regular feature will also serve as a scrutiny for Soho gyms. Everything from customer service to gym atmosphere, cleanliness to cost will come under consideration.

Of course, if all was to fail I had my father’s endearing philosophy to fall back on: “The best way to get a healthy body is to marry one.”

Cheers dad.