To date, when asked about my appeal to the opposite sex and what belief I have in myself, my response has always articulated the importance of personality. This, however, is to be anticipated from a man of average proportions (admittedly, where height is concerned I fall into the upper echelons of averageness); my mother always told me that appearance didn’t matter, and, up until the age of thirteen, I believed her. Conversations with my female peers also drew the same conclusions. Then came Peter Andre’s chest, swiftly followed by David Beckham’s abs before my recent female compatriots fell for the charm of Daniel Craig – especially in that swimwear scene. A clear trend was developing in my adolescent mind. Accordingly, when Soho gyms laid down the challenge of a three-month stint in their Borough gym, I accepted.

The idea was simple: take one person of average proportions and see what three months of a personalised fitness programme could do for him. There were to be no reductions in the chocolate to fruit ratio, no protein shakes and definitely no ab-tronic belts (eBay, apparently, does a roaring trade in these). Instead, it was just to be the gym and me: a real test for both of us.

My previous experience of gym life consisted of one visit to the local fitness centre at home. A game of squash was cut short by some benign racket handling and my day ended in a trip to the local hospital, thus leaving a particularly sour taste in my mouth and something of a reluctance to visit the gym again. Nevertheless, backed up by a multitude of fitness-based New Year resolutions, my determination was rife and I was ready to meet the challenge, and, with that, January 2009 marked the first month of a new me.

This blog will be updated online on a weekly basis, whilst there will be an extended version in the printed edition of King’s Bench magazine. Of course, true to the history of this fine publication – nothing will be omitted. Every detail, from the development of an ab to the changing room atmosphere will be included. Dear reader, you will hear about every embarrassing moment, and, should this thing go well, perhaps there will even be the odd success-story. This regular feature will also serve as a scrutiny for Soho gyms. Everything from customer service to gym atmosphere, cleanliness to cost will come under consideration.

Of course, if all was to fail I had my father’s endearing philosophy to fall back on: “The best way to get a healthy body is to marry one.”

Cheers dad.